Six Words Short

My imagination is a sick animal. It gives pain where it is not present. But somehow this pain demands to be felt. How do I know if i'm alive? Is this painful breath a sign of living? Is this sharp stab in the chest a picture of life? Gosh, strange things really do happen when sleep doesn't.

I don't know who I am anymore. Sometimes I pretend you love me, and at that point among all times, I would give out all the love I don't own.

It's fine. Maybe next time it will hurt less.

I lied. I will never be fine.

Last Words

This is the last word you heard before she walked away. You held your breath, closed your eyes, heart hoping to wake up beside her.

That was the last word you told him when you walked away. You said it out loud. Your voice was strong but your heart was shattering. Silently hoping his presence was a dream.

Those were words, those were emotions.

These turned into memories.

It's okay to fall; and no, you don't need to get back up.

I won't tell you it's okay to fall only to tell you to do just the opposite. We can sit here and do nothing. Or  we could talk, or write a sad song, or we could dwell on yesterday.

These words are not meant to get you up on your feet, it's meant for you to know that there is always someone in this darkness with you. Let this sorrow swallow us, or you could watch as it swallow me.

That's alright; this is not a permanent blindness, it's just an absence of light. We don't need to light the candles. We can stay here until this nightfall fades away, or for as long as you want to.

I know it's hard. It's okay to fall.

Someday, Someone

I hope someday you'll get to love someone who would give you tingles in your stomach. Someone who makes your heart shudders at the whisper of their name. Someone who could carve a smile on those lips of yours each time the thought of them crosses your mind. Someone who leaves you excited at the presence of their shadows.

And someone who would let you feel the warmth I feel for loving you.

Yes, This is For You

See that road? It's long and winding. Though it leads to an inevitably blissful destination, the journey, as reluctant as I am to reveal, is painfully hard. Shattered glasses and empty frames, scented flowers, poisonous as all of its kind.

Walk down that road. I'll take your hand, and you could hold mine.

And you will find no fear here, in unkind words or the hardness of others.

And you will find no sadness here, in the meanness of the world, in the anger that comes from those who feel small.

And you will find no hurt here, in a million insults or a single, softly spoken lie.

Because only a hard heart shatters.

Only a hard heart, breaks.

Flashbacks, Mayans, and Wishes.

Well hello there.

The fact that I have been abandoning this page for like so long that I honestly don't even remember how I usually start off a post bothers me sometimes. So yeah, there was the decent hello there, hopefully good enough for a comeback.

We are, as we all, civilised people with a mere calendar at hand are aware that today marks the last day of the year 2012. No need the elaborate sayings of how good things have been this past 366 days, and how challenging it was, but we managed to get through it with a set of strong will and determination, sprinkled with a little hope and faith.

I mean, seriously people, things are about the same every passing year, same amount of success, lessons, and a lot of happiness and joy, only the trials differ as we mature with age. It's not about how much we got through, it's about how much we learnt throughout the trials. 

Originally, I planned to write up a summary of how the year went. You know, like a recap of every memorable events that have happened through the year, so I started thinking in my head, and I only got as far as November. Don't blame me, I don't even remember what I had for dinner last weekend, how do you expect me to flashback as far as 12 months ago? That's just absurd, but for those of you who did it, you earned my respect, dear human-with-good-memory-or-possibly-one-who-keeps-a-diary-or-something.

2012 is ending, 2013 is approaching. Let's have a moment of silence for some of our friends who actually believed in the prediction made by the Mayans. It's already the 31st of December, and i'm still alive and kicking. And no, I did not survive the apocalypse, nor did I fought with any zombies to have been alive today. I only lived, just like any human in their right mind would. The apocalypse or whatever that was supposed to happen did not happen, now let's just move on.

Now i'm just writing nonsense, let's not end the year with a ridiculous feud with myself alone. With that, I hope you have grasped all your dreams you had in 2012, and here's wishing you a happy new year, 2013.

It's All Self- Talk

Most girls wear heels to impress,

I'm just comfortable walking around with a pair of discounted Converse.

They have on their shoulders a Prada or Gucci,

My stuffs are well-protected in my brandless sling bag.

While others are cruising around in a VW Polo bought by their parents,

I'm contented to drive around in my self-bought Kancil.

You see, 

It's not about what makes you happy,

It's about how it makes you happy.

You can have all the luxuries in the world, but if you can't find happiness within them, you're merely living a life not lived.