Faker all along.

When the thunder crashes upon the dark clouds, do you hear yourself shouting? Ain't the thumping sound of thunder strong enough to shake the world, why worsen it by amplifying your voice on it?

It wasn't me who was interested, it was you. How you complimented me was no way to flatter me, "just another one of those" was what I had in mind. Time passes and you showed your true colour. I was more happy that I was right the first time than I was disappointed of how you turned out to be.

Maybe yesterday I would've let your stupid jokes and rude words pass me, but today, I'm gonna make it straight, i'm not loving it and I know a lot others who would raise their hands in agreement as well, should I ask. Your act of being all sweet and innocent ain't working on me and I want you to get that straight.

I know I ain't the best to talk on impudency and sorts, but it's just a matter of respect. If you're able to make jokes without people hating on you, why can't you take a similar joke as well? Why make small matters be a big arguing issue? The world ain't cuddled in your stupid little arms, know that!

A thing I'd like to remind to others and mostly myself, when someone corrects you, it doesn't always mean they're condemning you. You can accept it as a constructive criticism and use it as a tool to improvise yourself, or you could act all exasperated and take it as just another enemy-to-be coming right at you.

I don't care who you are in your family or in your school or who the shit you are in whatever thing you have pride of. But here you are talking to me, all you need to be is you and not all those characters you wished you were. If I wanted a copycat, I would've made a clone of myself and live happily with people who'd think the same as me. Point is I don't want that.

I swear right now, I just freaking hate hypocrites and people who makes fake stories and acts all plastic-y just to obtain people's assiduity. I've had enough drama queens and attention whores in my life, I need no more.

Be yourself and earn the respect you've lost!

p/s: Stop messing with me and i'll put a stop to the feud. Any more craps from you, I swear it's going to spell trouble.

Lady Gaga and the shiz.

A lot of people have been talking about the recent Lady Gaga song, Judas. People have been saying that it's a form of illumination and stuffs. Before I ramble further on this, let it just be known that i'm in no way near to becoming a Gaga fan, and most important, I am in no way of trying to defend her. So here's my take on the issue.

First and foremost, before we start talking about the issue, let's ask ourselves a very simple question, how does listening to her songs affects your faith? If it doesn't shake you, then you're good to go. If it somehow changes your state of mind, then man, you're in deep shit.

A lot of people starts banning her just because they heard stories that her songs are satanic and such. This maybe true, but the verdicts ain't ours. Words of mouth are always exaggerated and overly abused. And even if it's true, then well, she's just doing her thing, nobody's forcing you to listen to her anyway, so stop listening if you think something's ain't right with it. Why continue doing something you know will leave negative impacts on you?

Such so, you say she's doing illumination, then why are you wasting your time to listen to her songs? Personally speaking, i've never been a fan of Gaga. Yes, i've heard her songs, but no, i've never listened to it. Fine line over there. Why? Because i'm not one who engages in something that I don't believe in. I personally don't believe in her music. So there.

Maybe it's not all the illumination thing that's tugging my faith off her music, nor is her freak-like way of dressing, but it's just herself. A person who hides behind an unknown identity is just a scared pussy to me. If you want to be known, at least let us see your face without all those heavy make-ups on. If you can't prove yourself worth, then there's no reason for me to have even a tiny bit of faith on you.

Yeah yeah, I know she said she used to be bullied in school and this and that. But you're earning millions now, do you seriously still have to hide behind all those weird painting on your face? Or are you just scared of something you're uncertain of? Now it seems like i'm hating on her. Pfffft. Seriously people, no, I ain't hating on her. I just don't trust her.

Back to her music, I still don't get how Paparazzi has got to do with illumination, or how Poker Face has anything to do with it. Judas, however, i've never heard of. But even if it is, who bloody cares?

The root to all this commotion is it comes back to ourselves, stop asking why is she trying to influence us through her music, and all those dumb questions, better off, start asking how strong is your faith, and how high is your trust for yourself. If you think you can handle it, be my guest. But if you're not that tough, get away from it. And if you're uncertain, just avoid it.

After all, the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. did said :
"It is clear what is Halal, and which was clearly Haram. And between the two, there are matters that are still unclear (syubhah) which is unknown to manhood, so whoever watches those things, that he has avoided syubhah, he has indeed frees himself with the religion and honor and those who fell in matters of syubhah, then it has fallen into Haram."

p/s: Sorry, I'm not going to post Gaga's photo here. No, I'm not a hater, I just don't like the idea of having her photo in my blog. No offense given nor taken.

The sharp knife of a short life.

It seems that these past few months, news of deaths are somehow like dust in the wind. It's just everywhere. Maybe this is just me overreacting over a matter I'm really uncertain of, but that's what I feel.

On the 19th of April, a boy had a fatal accident at the Lata Kijang Waterfall and the worst thing is that his body was stuck in the water for a mere 6-7 hours before they finally got him out. And that boy happened to be my first cousin.

Him being the same age as me has somehow affected how I look at his death. It's awkward to see someone you grew up with, suddenly he's gone. Me and him, we're not close, but these things somehow has a weird impact on me. It's like you finished a good book, when I say a good book, it's not just a book written by a famous author, but a book that when you read, you feel like you're the one living that life. The type that you somehow feel you can seriously relate to yourself. That kind of feeling.

It's the kind of loss you wish not to turn back time to have it back, but to turn back time just to relive all those moments you ever had with it. It's that utterly grotesque feelings you just can't overcome. It heals with time, or at least it usually does.

When I saw his body lying so helpless, I felt the tense, but I'm not one who shed tears very easily, I don't cry at the smallest matter. But the moment I saw his only brother covering his face trying to hide his tears, I could not help but shed some tears. I just felt his loss.

Al-Fatihah, Muhammad Zulfadhli bin Izhar, may Allah shower you with His blessings and may He place you among the ones He loves. It was a great 19 years knowing you. Last but not least, I don't always say this, but I do love my family. All of them. ♥

You know my name, not my story.

At the time i'm typing this post, I really should be using it to write-up on euthanasia to be submitted tomorrow. But nooooo, I choose to blog instead. Now my dear readers, don't you feel flattered that I'm putting you before my marks? *winks winks*

Have you ever judged a person? Give them a glance and just BAM! there goes all your reviews and judgments? I'm not going to sit around and tell people, " NO! You have got no right to judge anyone!" I'm seriously not going to do that. Instead of giving advices and telling people not to do what they're used to doing, I'm just going to leave a piece of my mind, with hopes that it makes you ponder a little if not much. So here goes.

When you look at a person, you'll judge them for what they are outside. Yes? You'd be lying if you were to object. Trust me, I'd know. I do it all the time. It's hard for me to just mingle with a person I've just met a few minutes before. I'm that inferior. I look at a person and I consider them being bad or untrustworthy or of negative influence. Honestly, it's hard for me to give a positive feedback on a first impression. On a shorter note, I judge. I do this, and it's not right.

Which brings me to my second point, not everything we do or think is right. We think that we're going to marry our boyfriend we had when we were fifteen but we end up breaking up with him a year later. The world used to think the moon's too far, but in 1969, a group of men landed on it. See where i'm going? Even when the world think they're right, it's never impossible for them to be wrong. Even genius make mistakes. What more a typical humdrum like you and me?

Look at it this way, when you judge a person, did you ever think of how they'd judge you back? I believe in karma, what goes around comes around, and most important, what goes up, must come down. It's just how the world spins. Your story can never be the same with her.

Have you ever thought of what goes around beyond what meet the eyes? She might have been raped which is why she's not laughing to those sexual biased jokes. He might be deep in thought thinking of his dad in Iraq, which is why he's always daydreaming. They might be waiting for their child's return after their baby was kidnapped years ago, which is why they never let anyone use their phone.

Am I making myself clear here? Before you go around speculating people and throwing judgments, think! Words stab harder than knives. Your insult today could be the reason they're not here tomorrow. You see who they are today, you don't know who they were before.

Just so you know, i'm not buying it.

Sometimes I wonder how much effort it takes to take up the world .I mean, bringing ourselves up is a huge thing, what more to build up a place for millions to stand. Just saying.

Anyways, here's a gentle reminder, I know you're busy with all your bullshits going on, and I know how much you think your stupid little project is gonna be world-known. Yes, I know how you feel about yourself as well. You think you've got the world spun around your finger. So be it, I don't give a damn.

Honestly, you want to fuck your life? Go on. Crumble your bloody life, as if it's not broken enough. It's not me to butt-in in people's affair. But once your act affects me, I'm sorry, if it's gonna do bad, then let it be known that you ain't got no right to ruin what I have built for myself.

Fuck you. Seriously.