Flashbacks, Mayans, and Wishes.

Well hello there.

The fact that I have been abandoning this page for like so long that I honestly don't even remember how I usually start off a post bothers me sometimes. So yeah, there was the decent hello there, hopefully good enough for a comeback.

We are, as we all, civilised people with a mere calendar at hand are aware that today marks the last day of the year 2012. No need the elaborate sayings of how good things have been this past 366 days, and how challenging it was, but we managed to get through it with a set of strong will and determination, sprinkled with a little hope and faith.

I mean, seriously people, things are about the same every passing year, same amount of success, lessons, and a lot of happiness and joy, only the trials differ as we mature with age. It's not about how much we got through, it's about how much we learnt throughout the trials. 

Originally, I planned to write up a summary of how the year went. You know, like a recap of every memorable events that have happened through the year, so I started thinking in my head, and I only got as far as November. Don't blame me, I don't even remember what I had for dinner last weekend, how do you expect me to flashback as far as 12 months ago? That's just absurd, but for those of you who did it, you earned my respect, dear human-with-good-memory-or-possibly-one-who-keeps-a-diary-or-something.

2012 is ending, 2013 is approaching. Let's have a moment of silence for some of our friends who actually believed in the prediction made by the Mayans. It's already the 31st of December, and i'm still alive and kicking. And no, I did not survive the apocalypse, nor did I fought with any zombies to have been alive today. I only lived, just like any human in their right mind would. The apocalypse or whatever that was supposed to happen did not happen, now let's just move on.

Now i'm just writing nonsense, let's not end the year with a ridiculous feud with myself alone. With that, I hope you have grasped all your dreams you had in 2012, and here's wishing you a happy new year, 2013.

It's All Self- Talk

Most girls wear heels to impress,

I'm just comfortable walking around with a pair of discounted Converse.

They have on their shoulders a Prada or Gucci,

My stuffs are well-protected in my brandless sling bag.

While others are cruising around in a VW Polo bought by their parents,

I'm contented to drive around in my self-bought Kancil.

You see, 

It's not about what makes you happy,

It's about how it makes you happy.

You can have all the luxuries in the world, but if you can't find happiness within them, you're merely living a life not lived.

Steve Jobs

This is a tribute to one man. Your average Joe who has made the impossible, possible. Who would've thought one guy, a college dropout, born out of wedlock, one lad who lives a weird routine, would make an impact to our lives. This is the man who changed our perception towards the simple utterance of the short syllable "apple".

But most of all, this is a tribute to a great man. The man who never understood the term give up. To the person whom mentality is set at no less than perfection. The man who'd think no less than extraordinary. Truly a great man of innovation. From garage junkie to a worldknown business mogul. An idol I took up as a teenager.

In memory of Steven Paul "Steve" Jobs. (24th of February, 1955 - 5th of October, 2011)

Intentional Dissonance

The world, as you may notice is not much as it was before. The roads are bumpier, and the sky, it's not the blue it used to be.

I have lost much words by the fractals of time passing. I have lost the talks of the people.

But fret not, from today on, things are only going to get better.

At The Age Which It Happens

I'm sorry for being gone for so long. Too long that the universe would have forgotten my name if it wasn't for the constellations hymning that rhythm. Truth is I miss you too much to even say a single word to you. The mistake is mine, but the ego is yours.

One day, you'll realize that there are some people you'll never see again. At least, not in the same way. That person is you to me and that person is me to you. I can live for a million years but never would I find someone like you.

But then again, maybe there's good in not finding another one like you.

Fractals of Time Passing

I promised a lot.

But never that I wouldn't get back up after you knocked me down.

Never that my broken remains wouldn't catch fire, that I wouldn't burn through the ice and snow one more time, never that my crippled bone won't rise back up, never that my unarmed body won't shoot them down, never through gritted teeth that I will not remind you how much I care.

And you can slam your glaciers into me, so slowly, and even though they hurt, I will not go numb from the cold, I will not pass out from the pain, I will look up at you and whisper through bloody teeth...

"..more..."

Through all of those pains, pause your doings and look up the sky, the constellations are speaking our language, it's written in the stars, miles away from us, yet they understood us more than we'll ever understand our presence.

Should one day you look up and your star has fallen down, you will find mine lying beside yours. The whole world is watching, but this territory, this territory will take you. And this place I'm standing in, beside you, it's worth dying for.

You know what I would do for love. But no one ever asked me how far I would go, for loss.

That One Person.

There's only one person who would keep all the promises made to you. There's only one person who would wipe off your tears and comfort you. There's only one person who would sing you a lullaby when your eyes fail to shut. There's only one person who would stay with you till your mind goes to sleep. There's only one person who would understand what you're really feeling at this moment.

There's only one person who would jump with your joys. There's only one person who would sincerely smile when you get that pleasant tingle in your heart. There's only one person who would truly agree with your thoughts. There's only one person who would help you mend your heart.

Place your right hand on your left shoulder blade. Keep it there. Now place your left hand on your right shoulder blade.

And squeeze.

Do you feel that person? That's the only person you should ever trust. Ever.

That Forgotten Feeling.

I don't know if this is how I'm supposed to feel, but to feel something, is always better than nothing. This is healthy. This is how you're supposed to feel when your heart meets a dagger. I have always forgotten the fact that pain is part of a feeling, not some kind of sensation in which you party in. This is how life talks to us. In a way that never shall we have more listeners than one.

We talk of what it felt to be in yesterday's company, we overlook the fact that tomorrow's coming. This pain, or whatever it is that I'm feeling right now will end, tomorrow, the day after, or what seemed like forever. But it will end.

And if you want to know the feeling I'm talking about, run your own fingers slowly through your hair, and pretend they're someone else's.

The Wisest of the Fools.

You say that only a fool believes there's good in every heart.

You say that only a fool sees things that aren't visible.

You say that only a fool makes music from sounds that can't be sung.

You say that only a foll tries to fly.

You say that only a fool swims against the ocean waves.

You say that only a fool leans against the wind.

You say that only a fool makes life out of a dream.

You say that only a fool let's the heart love.

You say that only a fool holds out hope.

Very well.

I am that fool. And I will die fighting.