"the past can hurt,but the way i see it,you either run from it or learn from it."

Friday, December 31, 2010

let the good times roll

so,exactly at 11.59 pm yesterday,which happened to be about a few minutes ago(gosh,it feels so weird),it marks the end of 2010,and the beginning of 2011.a brand new year!so yeah,happy new year.

regardless of what has happened throughout 2010,good or bad,i must say it has been the year that i have felt the most reality.it has by far,been the most significant year of my whole life(counting out 1992 of course,the year i was born.hee).i've seen well,quite a lot of things.

it started out pretty bad by the departure of a friend,then spm result had to came out,craps!then two other friends had to go.oh,i missed school,no!my friends actually.and the fact that without school,you can't see them everyday is so not cool!

but really,can't say it was bad all year through,good things happened too.found new friends,went to a new place,learnt to be independent(yeah right.),found some true friends,and proved quite a lot of things.and oh,i got no school anymore!felt good to stay home and not have to wake up early in the morning.

so there,a lot of things has happened.and i mean it,a lot!and some which i wrote here and in my previous posts,and some i reckon should be kept private.but whatever happened,has happened.it's in the past.it's a new year,a new page,no!a new book.

so buckle up,it's gonna be full of surprises,twists and turns,and in the end,we'll realize that we're gonna miss 2011 as much as we did with 2010.gotta let go the old ones,for hopefully a better one in store.so yeah,2011,please be good to me.

it's a new page again.

it's roughly ten minutes to a yet,another new year.a good one i suppose.whatever it may have in store for me,please just be good ones.

a little bit of surprises,happiness,new stuffs,finding love,friends and enemies,etc.but really,all i'm hoping is a fairly great year ahead.so yeah,here's to wishing you a happy and prosperous 2011.(this sound so greeting card-like!haha)

Happy New Year,2011! :D

p/s:goodbye 2010,you've been great,but i have to let go of you for a better one.or so i hope. :/

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Pac-Man! ^.^

as you can see above,i've changed the looks of Asher.pretty cool i suppose.i don't care if you say "noooo,it's so damn ugly!" i'll still love it.haha.if you don't like it,just close your eyes or skip this post.haha.

so yeah,that's it.i don't know what else to babble about.so here goes,my great looking laptop! :D

Monday, December 27, 2010

sorry,i don't talk stupid. :)

so this morning,i woke up to a stranger's text,and the rest goes like this:

019-2373920/stranger: Hai babi
me: Thanks.salam,siape ni? :)
019-2373920/stranger:FUCK U
me: Cursing ain't gonna bring you anywhere.so yeah,if you got nothing to say,just stop committing free sins for your own good sake.wassalam. :)
019-2373920/stranger: Xpaham la bole translate kan ;)
me: Nah,it's okay.if you can easily say "fuck you",i reckon you could find something that's called a dictionary,and find out on your own yeah.and oh,while you're at it,please do learn some proper punctuation usage.it will surely help you look less dumb. :)
019-2373920/stranger: Alamak xpaham lg la huhu bole pinjam dictionary huhu
me: Oh really?why,in that case,i'd have to apologise from the bottom of my heart because you see,i only have an english-malay dictionary.i don't own any english-stupid dictionary.and for me to translate it to you?i don't think i can accommodate to your ground-low level of thinking.i'm awfully sorry. :)

as you can see,in all of my texts,it ends with a smiley.well to be honest,at first i was totally faking it.i mean, come on,whoever could sincerely smile when someone you don't know suddenly comes up to you and say "hey pig" duhhh.like seriously.at first i was like,what the fuck is wrong with this idiot?!

but yeah,i managed to chill down and fake out a smile,you know,fire with fire never wins right?but as the conversation grows,i found myself smiling for real.it's not that i enjoy embarrassing people, but some people ought to learn that they aren't the only ones who can curse and get away with it.

so stranger,if you're reading this,here's something for you.had you got any guts,you'd face me.i truly hate people who bashes people behind their backs.that's some cowardly doings,dumb-ass.and oh,if i were you,i'd jump off a 15-storey building.being bashed down by a person you wanna bash is just too embarrassing.

so before i go,stranger,please do text me again.i enjoy talking and making you look dumber than a stool.let's see who gets the last laugh all over again. :D

p/s:kill them with kindness,did i not tell you?tee hee. ;)

Sunday, December 26, 2010

put your hands in the air

this is gonna be real cliche,but as a great Malaysian citizen *wink wink* i feel the need to write this. ;)

as you all know (who am i kidding?no you don't know), i'm not a big fan (not a fan at all actually) of football,no!soccer.whatever do you call it here.i'm pretty sure it's football.why not a fan you said?well mainly because i don't find a point in 22 adults chasing over one ball (no offense for the hardcore fans out there yeah?hee).

call me a noob,but the only full football match i've ever watched is the one where myTeam played, and i'm darn sure i watched that one because i've watched all the episodes and i sure do want to see how it all ends.but what the heck,they lost that game.*sigh*

now i'm running from the main topic,typical of me!back to it,last night was a game between Malaysia and Indonesia.i wasn't really into it,but since the telly is broadcasting the game,i thought,heh,since it's on,might as well watch it.

and much to my surprise,Malaysia won!so yeah,it was a 3-0 standing to Indonesia.pretty awesome huh?haha.honestly,i'm pretty surprised by the winning(some kind of Malaysian you are,don't you believe in your own country!).okay sorry,after all,it is Malaysia Boleh that we have all stood for all these years,and now it's proven.i'm proud to be a Malaysian(one second you're not sure they're gonna win,now you're proud.-.-'').

i think that's it from me.next up is the 2nd lap of finals at Indonesia.hopefully we're gonna dominate that too.before i sign out,anyone bothers to tell me why our Harimau Malaya were wearing a blue jersey instead of the yellow one?i prefer the yellow one,just saying.

“We respect all teams but as is common knowledge, things are not easy in football where there are a lot of factors which we have to take into account. We are taking each game as it comes and we fear no one

(Malaysian football team coach)

p/s:anybody saw how Markus got his foot tangled in the net yesterday?that was high-larious! XD

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

it strikes once

when i do something good,nobody,not even one soul sees it.
but when i do a slight mistake,all the shits that i did in the past is highlighted.
when others do the same shit that i do,the bright side is lit up.

but when i do right,no accreditation,only flaws are torched.

face it,i'm always the bad ending of a fairy tale,the murderer of your hopes and dreams.

i can never be your sunshine.to you,i'm the black cloud.
the one that crashes and burns everyone's dreams.

sometimes it's just not me.

Friday, December 17, 2010

it's tum-blah in aussie. XD

today,out of randomness and boredom,and probably after getting tired of converting oxygen into carbon dioxides,i decided to signed up for Tumblr.

it's not that i'm totally a hundred percent new to this Tumblr thingy,i'm pretty sure i made an account somewhere last year or early this year,but i can't even recall the url i registered it as.(or maybe it was deleted due to my inactive involvement.hee.)

cut the story short,i made a new one.before,i couldn't even get the hang of it.like seriously,i don't have a single clue of how it works and yadayadayada,but now i guess i'm getting a tad bit of clue of how it works,so yeah.i started tumblogging.

anyways,since i already have a blogger account(and i have a shitload of precious writings i left in here),i don't want to ever abandon this blog.so here's the deal,i'll post pictures and quotes into my tumblr account,and write lengthy posts in here.this page stays to be my listening ears,where i'll pour my heart and soul.*dramatic much?hehe.*

feel free to drop by my Tumblr account at syahirahazman.tumblr.com (or of course,you could make your life simpler by clicking on any of the tumblr writing.my link's in there.haha)

p/s:if you visit my blog,i'll love you forever!haha. ;D

Thursday, December 16, 2010

the moment i surrender to you

before i start on with this topic,i really really hope that people who's gonna be reading this ain't gonna take my writings the wrong way and take me for an anti-marriage person.trust me,i'm not.if it's meant to happen,it's gonna happen right?with that said,i reckon i shall start. :)

a couple of days back,someone(whom name i shouldn't mention) called me and asked me this question "what if nobody wants to marry me?".whoa!honestly,i have no apparent answer for this question.i mean,come on,what would you do if you were in my shoes?

before i tell you the answer i gave her,here's something you should know.i am someone who disbelieve in love after marriage.honestly.if along the road of knowing that person,you can't get your heart to fall for her/him,how do you expect that in the middle of a married journey,you could suddenly force your heart to sync with your partner?

i've seen marriage at all views.the one that lasts for a lifetime,the one that crashes in the middle of it,the one that broke and rekindled again,the one that has long shattered and is just waiting to stumble,you name it!i've seen all of it.(or at least i've heard of it.hee.)

since this is a public blog,there is hesitation for me to say this(but i'm gonna say it anyway),i've seen domestic violence with my own two eyes.played like a movie,happened like a nightmare,only thing is,i can't snap back into reality,because it is the reality!

i've seen people getting hurt in their marriage.they believed too much that it's gonna last that they fought with all their might,but sometimes the ending is just too heart-wrecking for me to state here.on the other hand,i've also seen people happily living their married life,sometimes to the very end of the road.

my point it,marriage is just a huge risk.don't get me wrong,i'm not afraid of taking risks.but is it worth getting hurt and mending it back,just to get hurt once again?there is possibility though that it will last,but there's just a little too scant proof to make me trust it's possible.

nonetheless,this was my answer "God created us in pairs.they're out there somewhere,just waiting to be found.it's just a matter of time,late or fast".like i said at the very beginning,if it's meant to happen,it's gonna happen.wait and see.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Cinta Kirana,not.

everybody who follows (or is it supposed to be followed already?) "Cinta Kirana" put your hands up! *a million hands are raised* alright,okay,give a big clap for yourself for this post is for you!

to be very honest,i'm not a fan of this drama/film/sinetron,whatever they call it.main reason?because i don't have astro!ahaha.*boo me!* anyways,that certainly ain't an excuse.there's online tv and stuffs right?

but the fact is i don't really enjoy watching indonesian movies.my strongest point?because it portrays the same storyline over and over again.(poor girl meets rich guy,boy fall in love,girl hides feeling,one of them fall sick/meets with an accident or lose their memory,and eventually ends with a very illogical tragic ending) trust me,it's almost true every single time.

so there,ain't that reason perfect enough to complement my statement?i do hope.but with all the craze over this film(not to mention the never-ending post of "I LOVE GALANG" on facebook), i have decided to write a little bit of something about this.and because i've never watched this story,the writings above will be my little bit.*i'm lame like that*

maybe when i'm genuinely bored and free in the future,i'll download the whole film and watch it,and maybe then i'll really have something to babble about on this topic.until then,here's Randy Pangalila a.k.a. Galang for your joy. :)

Friday, December 10, 2010

and it changes everything,again.

i really have to blog about this.so since i woke up this morning,i didn't touch my iphone at all.like seriously,not at all.then somewhere in the evening,we were going to Hidayah for dinner,i took it along(just so i could download apps,the wi-fi there is superb!)

so then i realized when i unlocked the phone,there were no sound.there usually is a some-like clicking sound.then i went on and open an app,still,no sound.you bet i'm scared!i switched on the ipod and still,no freaking sound!not a thing!at this point,you can bet that i'm all freaked out.

but i kinda ignored the situation,then we head for Spectrum,i went to a mobile shop,hoping to solve this problem.the guy said it's some kind of software problem and it will cost 60MYR to fix.man,that's a freaking lot,considering that i still have the warranty,i'm not gonna spend another 60 bucks on maintenance.and so i didn't have it fixed.

i reckon i would go back to the shop i bought my phone at,but considering it's somewhere in jalan duta,the distance i've to travel,and the hassle i've to face,add in the uncertainty whether the warranty would cover these kind of problems,i was ready to assure myself that it will stay unfixed for years to come.

just a few minutes ago,i went to my best friend,Mr. Google,and asked him if he knew how to fix it.and he gave a few options.i clicked on two of the top ones.the first one told me that it's some kind of hardware problem and yadayadayada,useless!switched to the second one,and it told me to plug-in my earphone and unplug it.

i did the exact thing that i was told,and voila!it freaking worked,just like magic!oh,and it actually said to plug and unplug a few times until it works,but mine worked at the first attempt.yay me!

p/s:glad i did not gave you my precious 60 bucks,i can now save that up for a supra.dreamer much?haha. :D

credits:reviews.cnet.com (trust me,they're the bomb!)
thank you for fixing my baby. :)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

ell ooh vee eee

if love was a person,it would be the weirdest human being on earth.or could it be the sweetest,the most dearest,the most craved for?but for me,it would be the most complicated one.the one you spend all day and night trying to figure their acts.

what is love in the first place?it somehow occurred to me,why do people bother much about having this thing called love?it's just a word,ain't it?imagine this.if love was a tomato and sushi is love.so people would go around saying "i ate love this morning" or "pass me the love ketchup please" or or "i sushi you" *gaaaah!that sounds so wrong!* and "i promise to sushi you to the end of my life" *somehow changing love to sushi makes it sound absolutely wrong!*

tell me exactly,when someone says i love you,how many of them actually mean it?if you say that people say i love you only when they mean it,then why is there a need for people to say "i love you,i really do".so what exactly is the role of the "i really do" part over here?

love is supposed to be a completely divine word.when said to someone,it could make their day,cheer them up,restore that trust on you.but why is it tainted to the extent that it is becoming an utterly nonsensical word.face it,how many people could say "i love you" when they honestly didn't really care.

in another way of actually saying this,love is just another word,if changed the meaning,it could mean nothing.so what exactly that makes it so special?the imponderable confusion of figuring this mess has led to the writing of this particular post.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

let's fall in love and make them hate us

once there was a guy,a tall guy whom since he was in school,had always think big of himself.always thinking that when a girl talks with him,she's flirting.when a guy looks at him,he's jealous of him.when a girl looks at him,she's struck by a cupid.and had always,forever in his life been an ass-kisser.there,a little bit of his background.

and then one day,he entered a martial arts competition and well,won a bronze medal.and as you can guess,that made him brag a little way more.oh yeah,i almost forgot!he's not a fluent english speaker,but well,he write poems,songs,yada yada yada in english as though he's an expert.and also,he's an attention-whore.

so one fine day,he wrote a status that is pretty general.then a girl comes along and commented on that particular status,thinking that this guy could take a joke and would understand simple english.but,oh well,he couldn't understand those simple words and ends up offended.and replied in a rude manner.

at the end of the day,the girl,not wanting to fight a person of lower level than her,ended the conversation by congratulating him on his "big" win in the martial arts competition.

she kept in mind that when you fight fire with fire,you'll resolve to burning yourself.so what do you do?kill them with kindness.

and the ending,can you guess?that's right!she lives happily ever after. :)

Friday, December 3, 2010

can't you see it already?

this whole day,and i mean it,THE WHOLE DAY,all i've been hearing is about our freaking final results!

alright,you're excited,you're curious,i know i know,i feel that too.but we're like dedicating this whole day to results.and i could swear that every notifications i get are from people asking about results!gosh,it's okay to want to know,but making this whole day about the results is just freaking sad.

please just stop.thank you.and that goes for me too.*syahirah,stop asking about people's result!* duhhh. -_____-

i'm probably gonna write about my results *and reveal to the world what a 'great' student i am* but hey,not today please.i really need to get this result fever down.

p/s:if you're wondering,my result is freaking "AWESOME",and the picture above,that ain't the expression i got upon seeing my result.nope,not even near. :/

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

:) because you can

"I am optimistic and sentimental to the point of being annoying, especially to people who think that being cynical and cold is cool. Everyday, I thank Allah for everyday things like the ability to breathe, the ability to love, the ability to laugh, and the ability to eat and drink."

-Yasmin Ahmad-

p/s:this is one of the many reasons why she's one of my idol and a Malaysian i'm proud to say i look up to. ;)

Saturday, November 27, 2010

i heart trash

this is a total crap.what's the crap,you asked?this post.this very exact post that you're reading.so if you consider your time to be very precious and oh-so-golden,then mind you,please do skip this crap i'm about to write.but of course,if you have some crappy time to waste,then fret not,be my guest of crap.

no,actually,when i say crap,it meant honour.because in this particular post,crap has a very high place as of which it could be a suitable replacement for honour.and so hereby,when i say,guest of crap,it might as well be translated as guest of honour.get it?yes?*applause*

the crap is that,i have a junk load of craps in my mind that,well,i think should be shot out.but of course,when i blog at night (which btw,it's 2.39 am now),i just can't seem to unload it off my crappy brain.so there.that is a sneak peek of how i got the idea of making this crap and how this crappy idea came in to be a post.

with that said,i think this is the end of my crappy post,or crap story,or whatever you want to call it(just make sure you have the word crap in it).and so,bye bye. :D

pee slash ass:anyone who's able to count the exact number of times i mentioned crap in this one post gets a strawberry ice cream,my treat. ;)
*terms and conditions apply

which btw,don't bother trying,because the T&C is simple:I DON'T TREAT PEOPLE!kthxbi.

oh hey,told you it was crap. XD

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Nurul Fathini Zulkifli :)

i still remember the first time i saw you.cantrecallname said to me,"she doesn't look 18".i couldn't help but agree and laughed it off.and i've always seen you as the youngest one since.(though i know you're not.hee.)

i won't forget your huge grin when you said you share the same birthday with nick jonas(you knew i'm his fan).i'll never forget how i pulled you all the way back from college to the hostel after we had our insaniah thingy,and you shrieked everytime we crossed the road.and the time when i played with the game on your phone like there's no tomorrow,even the psychology lesson couldn't stop me from playing.then the time we gossiped about youknowwho,you're the only one i felt could really understand how i felt about that person.those were the times.

today you dropped the news,you're going off for UITM,and though it somehow tugged the strings of my heart,i know it's for the best.so go,spread your wings and make us proud.we'll always be behind you when you need to look back.

before you go,just remember this.we're TESLians.we're classmates.most importantly,we're SIBLINGS ,and nothing will ever change that.no distance is far enough to part us.

best of luck,tinot! :D

Thursday, November 18, 2010

it has been the longest winter without you

she stood there,looked down at the ground,toes twitching,fingers fidgeting.a thought crosses her mind,how would she unfold her predicaments?

she has a problem,and she needs her bestfriend.problem is,they're both the same person.

...a conundrum she has yet to reason.undeniably,it made her tremble.

p/s:i need you bestfriend. :(

be yourself and get judged

i think there are times when i think that it's crucial for me to live up to people's expectation.the fact that i have been pulling myself from doing this have given people the idea that i'm being rebellious.hey,i'm not.there's a fine line between being rebellious and knowing your own self.finding what you're really made of.challenging yourself when everyone around you is denying your pick.

but nonetheless,i feel that it is my responsibility to know what i want to be and who i want to be.of course there will be a time that i will regret making the decision i made,but when that happens,i want to be able to say,"i chose this road,and it's the right one no matter how much i wish i could change it now."

i get lost in the beauty of everything i see

sometimes when you think that you have the worst,try looking around.others may have it way bad than you do.and sometimes all you can do is look and wait for something to happen.it ain't your call that it's gonna happen in a certain way,but it is your call to have it done and over it.

and perhaps there are times when you think that life is taking a turn.when everything seems so wrong and there's no one hanging there with you.if you think that you have done your best,well then think back and realize that maybe,just maybe,your best ain't good enough.

that's just how it rolls.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

shaken by reality

please don't be mad at me nor judge me for what i do.you,for a fact do not know what's on my mind,and needless to say,you have absolutely no idea how much i want to stay.

the fact is that i most probably have to go,not want to.so there,i'm finding the right time.please understand that.i'm sorry,but i know what i'm doing.

Monday, November 15, 2010

while you live it up,i'm off to sleep

my final's over!and it times to get cuh-razy!yee-hooo!well,anyways, i had my IT paper today, which happens to be my last paper for this sem.so uh,yay me! :D

so uh, i'm gonna have a real long holiday, just like school holidays!ahaha.and here's a few things i strive to do:

i.clean up my oh-so-messy room.
ii.curl up my fingers on those piano keys,get a tune or two polished.

iii.pick up those guitars and start memorising (more like refreshing) all those necessary chords.
iv.get back to playing classical guitar.

v.go for a roller-coaster ride.
vi.have a movie marathon.(though i doubt i have that long of an attention span)

vii.ice skating!(and a lot more falling and tumbling along the way)

viii.hang out with the foursome.
ix.head for a swim.(i miss the waters so bad!)

and yeah,a hell lot more i believe.but that's it that i really crave for,as of now. :D

p/s:craps,i totally messed up my finals!*headslap* Dean's List pretty please? *insert puppy eyes over here*

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

book gone wrong

give me three seconds to brag! ;)

i didn't log in to my facebook account yesterday,and i'm so danging proud of myself!tee hee. :D
(read it at maximum speed,make sure you don't read the above statement in more than 3 seconds okay.)

*alright,done with brag session.*

bet most of you people who owns a facebook account would understand why i'm so damn proud.well for those of you who don't,gather round and i'll tell you why.(now i'm imagining people gathering round a campfire to hear a ghost story)

the thing with this thingy is that it's sooooooo addicting.it's like drugs,not that i'm sure of that though,cause i've never had any.haha.but yeah,i guess it's something like that.then there's all the game apps that makes it oh so tempting that you have to log in everyday to feed your pet,or your fish,or your whatever.(i'm into petville,btw.)

and do you remember myspace?well,to compare myspace and facebook,there's like a huge gap.it's like fire and rain.nope,i take that back.fire and rain would be facebook and our old friend,friendster.but uh,myspace and facebook?they're like err,sundae and popsicle.both cold,or should i say cool?but one better than the other,according to your liking that is.ho yeah! XD

to make things short,there's a hell lot of reason to be addicted to this satanic thingy.okay i take that back too.it's not satanic.LOL.but it's like a dark hole.very tempting,and once you jump into it,you fall into the darkest part of the world.okay,i'm exaggerating.

but seriously,it's just so distracting.i used to find myself not being able to do my work on the computer or search for something on the internet,or even write a blog if my facebook account is on.well,that was history though.i got the hang of it.i've learnt how to multitask myself.*large grin over here*

fact is,i think what makes this thing a very addicting stuff,is that it's not much of a place for friends(sounds familiar heh?).it's more like a gossip site.you don't like someone,you post it as your status.you had a bad day,you post a note there.you want to tell your partner you love them,you tag their name on your post.how annoying is that?grr.

you want to hate somebody,you tell it straight to them.not bash them on some social sites.do you want everyone to join in the fight?come on.make the world a better place to live in will you?you had a bad day,you want to write it out,get a blog,or a journal.whatever.just don't write it as a note and tag every one of your friends.do you really need to force your friends to read it?now you want to tell someone you love them.call them up,get a flower,serenade them,anything.just tell them through a post,a big no!is that all they're worth?

point is,facebook is a great place to talk with your friends and share stuffs.photos,videos,events and stuffs.but it's not these things that makes our heads turn,it's the gossips there is in it.admit it,we all like these controversial issues.but put yourself in the shoes of the person writing the stuffs.do you really want to expose your life to everyone?not me.so keep it clean aite.trust me,it's better that way. :)

Sunday, November 7, 2010

i like hugs on rainy days

have you ever felt that feeling?the feeling where you're at the top of the world?it's like you're flying and floating with nothing to stop you.it's like you could run and jump over the cliff and the view from above would be spectacular.there was no fear, just that great feeling.that great feeling of achievement.have you ever felt that?

well i have,but when i open my eyes,there was no one but me.and then i realize i was all alone.

Monday, November 1, 2010

walk through fire

one fine day, i was so dayyum annoyed with just about everyone that i felt like picking a fight with, well, just about everyone.

so in this particular situation, anyone in their right mind would stay out of my way. but nooooo, someone had to stand in the middle of the road and in a not so clever manner rant about burgers that ain't that delicious. so there.

i'm going to rant about this next, and when i do, if you think like skipping it, please do.cause it's not worth reading. but i feel the need to write it.

thank you.

eradicate injustice pretty please? :)

hooo,do click on the image to enlarge it yeah. :)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

yeah,well shut up.

you're 15, you smoke cigarettes and weed, you drink, you're not a virgin, your boyfriend's 18, you dress like a slut just cause the older girls do, and you swear because it makes you look cool. i bet your parents are proud.


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

a little time always sets things right

when i saw those tears today, it struck me. some may make jokes out of that, but hey, i maybe cold-hearted, but i'm not inhumane. you shared with me something before, that maybe for some of them, a story that has only unfolded today. i can't fool myself, sometimes i miss us. but when we do rekindle, i hope the both of us have changed for the best. :)

Monday, October 25, 2010

Journal 1.0

hey hi hello!

this is a journal,or much said it is.but i just don't think it fits to be a journal.but what the heck,i'm doing it anyway.probably because this blog always stays in-updated and i'm out of idea.thus the writing of this nonsense. :)

this one is for stuffs that happened last week.(not that it matters cause i'm pretty sure no one would be reading this.nevertheless,i don't think i care cause i'm in the mood of writing nonsense now.)

We had Insaniah thingy.divided into groups and stuffs.i got in the same group with my gay partner,yay us!okay,may be not.tee hee.i cheated and got myself in the group.this one facilitator tried to scare us by saying that if we changed groups,it'll affect our pointers.*insert big LOL over here* chill out,i'm not the only existing soul who did that. :)

Again,the Insaniah thingy.but today i went with tini tinot and stayed with a section two student.*say hello to Lisa*,pretended i was sulking with my gay partner.i can't even remember why now.but yeah,i did.i'm that weird,bear with it please.haha.

Can't remember anything today,craps i'm lost. :/

Sent in my psychology assignment,which was supposed to be handed in on monday *sorry for the troubles,Miss Suzana* and oh,Miss Nadia said i'm good in writing.*flattered*

Had CSS test that day.we had to answer in partners,but i did it individually,and someone said to me that i didn't get myself a partner because i don't like sharing answers.*probably true* haha.oh,i think i flunked the test.*slaps head* then went back with gay partner,went to mina minot's place for haziq's birthday.and then went back home.

Err,i can't remember anything aside from the jam from cantrecallname villa to UM,and the exact opposite traffic the other way round. -.-''

Went online,started playing petville again.*forsythe,i miss you* bought some stuffs for him off the PV store.and then yadayadayada,back to Kay Pee Tee Am Hotel.

...and that's how my week went.i had a,well,okay week.and i hope you do too. :)

stand there and watch me rant will ya?

the walls are crashing down, and i know i'm at the very bottom of it,
i'm standing there, and i refuse to just watch.
while it's killing me inside to see those pieces crumbling down,
i'm picking up those little bricks, those forgotten and abandoned,
...and i'm fixing it.

i know for a fact that it's probably pointless, but hey, at least i tried.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

to lose the little in search for the huge

"Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple - to be happy. Maybe it's this expectation though of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try to will ourselves to state's of bliss, the more confused we get - to the point where we don't recognize ourselves. Instead we just keep smiling - trying to be the happy people we wish we were. Until it eventually hits us, it's been there all along. Not in our dreams or our hopes but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar."

-Grey's Anatomy-

Monday, October 18, 2010

texting+facebook=textbook. XD

p/s:i wish my laptop would do this for me.
but then again,that would be creepy. :/

bend the facts please?

i wasn't stammering, i wasn't nervous, i was definite i spoke fluently, i'm pretty sure i answered them right, well at least till the current news part. *huge sigh*

anyways,i just realised something, i said i have a huge interest in photography, i love talking to people, i have a passion in writing, and in a long run i want to be a journalist.now doesn't that contradicts one another?

dayyum, i'm screwed. :/

Sunday, October 17, 2010

achy breaky heart

I don't get jealous when I see my ex with someone else because my mother always tell me to give my old toys to the less fortunate.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Naznin Idris

first,you burden me with your homies craps.
then,you took what's mine without permission.
...and now,you're spilling craps about me.

so,fuck you,there is no way i'm tolerating.

"i did the presentation alone" say what?!when will you ever be done with messing up my life?seriously.like attempting to take credits on other's work ain't enough,now you're claiming it's yours?man,you're desperate.there is no question why your sister hates you.you're a faker as much as you are a moron.

and hey,you didn't know what your fault is,heh? *huge LOL* no wonder you never learn.you think everything you do is right,just because you're the class rep (self-voted if i may add),that doesn't make you the boss.you're not always right.as a matter of fact,you're barely ever right.

now,knowing your attitude,you'll obviously be blaming me.cursing you on my blog.but let's look at it this way,you post videos on youtube,you call your friends "loser",you kiss the ass of a guy who obviously doesn't care about you.gosh!when will you ever tell yourself "hey,stop being an attention whore".

see this as me doing a favor for you,unlike you,i don't go on bashing people on facebook,i ain't that low.what more,blocked me so i don't have the slightest idea you're talking about me?i can't find a word to tell you how sad i am to look at you now.thinking everyone likes you when they're foul-mouthing you behind your back.

writing "i could care less" duhhh,then what's the purpose of writing that status?call me a pathetic person for all that it's worth,but hey,this pathetic person has supporters,her friends,true friends.bet you don't have that.see up there?i put that so when people wants to find this post,all they have to do is google,and BAM!they'll find this post.see how i'm helping you with fame?

just remember this,i don't bother disturbing people who doesn't bother me.so try to stay out of my path as much as you can.because once you come in my way,you're on for a hell of a ride.want to try?go on,be my guest. :)

Saturday, October 9, 2010

them triple ten

Happy 10.10.2010 everyone. :D
(make a wish,now!haha.)

i thank every blessings in the world that has brought me to seeing this blissful day. :)

p/s: treat everyday like it's a blessing, not withstanding what you may encounter through it.just believe that everyday's a blessed one, thus a blessed one it shall be. ;)

Sunday, October 3, 2010

note to self

don't be stupid.jangan update blog kalau tengah marah boleh?
nanti segale post jadi emo.

eff you see kay

sorry blog,awak jadi tempat lepas geram okay.
saya kutuk,saya maki,saya mencarut,tapi saya sayang awak okay.
saya tulis dalam BM supaya saya akan terpaksa delete post ni okay.
tapi untuk sekarang,this post stays okay.

banyaknya "okay".sumpah saya ngok sekarang.

terima kasih kerana membaca.
do i really have to write shits in here and taint this whole blog just to get that splitting second moment?

Friday, October 1, 2010

enchanted to meet you ;)

Dear Mr. October,

i'm welcoming you with a great big smile and a handful of hopes.
please be good,just as Mr. September was.

lots of love,

p/s:happy halloween. :D

Thursday, September 30, 2010

tooth under your pillowcase

sofea,don't you even think of doing that again or you'll risk being the cause of me having a heart attack.
naznin,you're the best side partner i could ever have.
shafeeq,asyer,raimy,you three are the best shriekers i've ever met.
mama,i'm off to the moon.
anis,good luck turning 18.

...and that's what made 30th September a day to remember. :)

hit them right

Cobus Potgieter,
i am so into you. ^.^

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

apollo. XD

you know what's great about them?
they taste great,they're extremely cheap and they look healthy.

(though i'm pretty sure they aren't as healthy as they seem. :s)

Monday, September 27, 2010

fate fell short

ehhhh,nah,it's okayyyyy.
i like being left behind.

"So go away! I never ask you to stay! Just go, that's what everyone wants."

thanks,i guess.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

somehow this picture makes me crave for a jelly. :/

promise not to be

"He awoke each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy. And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness. I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others--the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by the midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad."

— Jonathan Safran Foer-

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

call it mystery or anything

perfect huh?seriously.
and it's a real photo. ;)

oh,i resolved to not open my facebook during mr. hafez's class.
yet i'm blogwalking. :/

Monday, September 20, 2010

that road was not for me

we stepped into this together.i had your back and you had mine, or at least that's how it used to be.time passes, not that much of a time, but i guess it was enough to drift us apart.i found friends that uh,well,have to be close to me.and you?well you did too.only difference is it was your choice to bring them close to you.

i tried to keep us from falling apart,i find time to hang with you,guess it wasn't enough.and you,you said you did too.and for sure i believed you,but maybe i was blind to see that.you found friends you're proud of,that you're happy with.i did too.but i drew a line between me and them.not wanting anyone to step closer.i guess that's a mistake,but i did not regret it.i made the choice.

we met two times,not once that we talked,not even a simple word of "hi".your friend saw me,well we smiled,and that was it.i guess we've reached the peak where me and you are just friends,but ain't talkers.this is what we have grown into.so if you're asking me,this is my answer.i reckon this is where i back down.

thank you.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

rustle up,here comes the crowdpleaser

the best melodies are the ones that gives you goosebumps,or make you cry in public or help you realize the answers.cause nothing else could give that tingly enjoyment feeling,than to touch those facile keys and make utterly divine tune out of it.the absolute commotion it gives to the heart.a boost of craving for the next piece.

the feeling it gives is indescribably pulchritudinous. :)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

never miss a chance to dance

I suck on my thumb just for the secured feeling it gives. And no doubt i bite my nails, for no apparent reason. I'm sorry if that fact discomforts you. Ergo, proving i don't give a shit. :)

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Eid Saeed!

Sorry I didn't keep in touch that much. Sorry I hurt you. Sorry I annoyed you. Sorry I lied. Sorry you had to repeat what you said cause I wasn't listening. Sorry you had to wait cause I was late. Sorry i curse you behind your back. Sorry i talk bad about you on my blog. Sorry I replied your message late or didn't reply at all. Sorry I didn't pick up your call. Sorry i'm not always there to help. Sorry I ignored when you call. Sorry I blamed PMS for every mood swing i had. Sorry I snubbed when you smiled.

Sorry I keep repeating my mistakes. Sorry for all my wrongdoings.

May Allah lightens his blessings in every walk of life. Eid Ul Fitr greetings to all. Have a blessed one. :)

Monday, August 30, 2010

a country lover on the contrary

"1Malaysia Transforming Nation"

A few hours back,i was in the car,stuck in the midst of a flood of people waiting for the clock to struck midnight,as it's the Merdeka eve.

Now what i'm about to say in the next few parts are probably sensitive issues. Allow me to apologise in advance. Bear in mind that what's written are absolutely off my mind and is not related to any political, racial, religious, nor sexual issues. So i'm sorry if it concerns anyone about what i'm going to say. I hope i'm not stepping the wrong line. :)

With that said, here goes. I saw a group of kids,i mean it. KIDS! Not teenagers, not youths, but kids,dwelling on their bicycles on that congested road. Bringing along a huge flag, and blowing horns and whistles while at it.

Then as i went further in, i saw two groups of motorcyclists, in which on my right was a group of Malays and on my left is a group of Indians. In the spirit of One Malaysia, people are still hesitating to break the border of racial discrimination.

The last observation i had, if i may say, is between the group of motorcyclists, perhaps understood that most of them are boys, there are quite a number of girls in between them. Perhaps the presence of them are not bizarre enough, the apparels they're in, if i may say is rather questionable. Mini skirts, sleeveless tees, short pants, for bike riding? Who are you kidding?

Now the question that arises aside of these social issues are, where are the parents? Don't they realise the absence of their children in the house? Perhaps a question too absurd to be asking.

In the spirit of celebrating Independence Day, though it was just a mere incident that we we're stuck in the traffic in the middle of Dataran Merdeka, a coincidence too impossible to let lose as incidental, my brother was expecting a big celebration, considering the presence of the crowds.

Disappointing enough, only one firework was blasted and the celebration ended with releasing a bunch of Mat Rempits off the road. So much for a "celebration" eh?

As non-patriot as i may sound throughout this post, one thing i'm very certain of, though at times it's probably in doubt, i'm proud to be a Malaysian.

Happy 53rd Independence Day, Malaysia. :)

Friday, August 27, 2010

cheese dump?

imagine cheese trickling down your face.
ewww,right?err,that's what the contestants had to do to win.
i'll pass.it's okay to lose once in a while. XD
ewww ewww ewww
triple ewww!

p/s:i hate cheese.sorry. ;)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

world of the uneducated

"Great minds discuss ideas,
Average minds discuss things,
Small minds discuss people."

-Eleanor Roosevelt-

p/s:enough said?you bet! ;)

Saturday, August 21, 2010

my heart knows you. :')

Dear Dayah,

Yesterday i dreamt i went out with your sister, Atiqah. Strikingly odd,eh? I know right! Haha. Well uh, as weird as it gets, it just struck me upon waking up is that i have never even met your sister. We've talked, yeah. But only on facebook. How could i have ever dreamt of her? Heh, let's put that aside shall we? Tee hee.

I couldn't remember much as of what happened through the dream. Well, you know how confusing dreams can be right? One minute you're in a shopping complex, next minute you're in the garden. Triple sigh, i'll never grasp it. But it's alright i guess. :)

To be honest, i miss you. I miss the short talks i had with you. I miss reading your updated blogs. I miss how you'd use nerd Malay words in your posts. I miss how you'd link a few words to become one 'compact' word. Hehe.

Oh, did i tell you i once dreamt of you? Again, weird. The dream was something like i went to visit someone and ended up bumping into you in a hospital. Dull, huh? Haha. But it's nice to be able to see you again, eventhough it's probably just a figment of my imagination. In the dream you were smiling. It's nice to see that. ;)

I don't know if you could read this, i don't know if you know how much we love you. But i certainly hope you're doing well down there. May Allah place you among the ones He loves, and may He blesses your soul. Know that you'll always stay in our hearts.

Lots of Love,
xoxo :)

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

the part of me that'll show if you're close

when i see your smile,it's always a brighter day. :)

aww... ;D

melts. ;)

p/s:pointless,i know.heh,my blog,my right!haha. XD