There's something about this year's Ramadhan that has somehow calls me to change myself for the better. I think it is the simple calling of this holy month or my own resolution of turning into a better person. But through all of that, I'd have to thank all the mishaps that has happened to me before the month of Ramadhan. This with no doubt had been the reason I wanted to change so much.
The first factor of me changing would be the never ending supports from my family and my comrades. Well you know what they say, when you have the nawaitu to do something good, Allah will help by surrounding you with good people. Ones who could guide you towards the right path. Alhamdulillah, I believe throughout this Ramadhan, I was surrounded by these people. People who would remind me to not wait for the very last minute to perform my solat, people who would constantly remind me to recite the zikr in case I lost my spirit, and people who would pull me up with verses off the Quran to keep me going at times when I get downhearted.
Don't get me wrong, these kind of people had entered my life before, only before I wasn't ready for any changes. And for that matter, I only have me and myself to blame - the goods come from Allah and the flaws come from human themselves.
Another thing is that I found a few good videos on youtube that somehow attracts me to hear their thoughts and speeches. Mainly of self-changing or their transition during the Ramadhan. A talk by Aiman Azlan is a good example of a good yet very relaxed speech. Something a 19 years old lad would want to spend time listening to. Another thing if you're looking for some inspiration, it would be a great idea to watch Wardina Safiyyah's episode of Ini Kisahku. Trust me, that has somehow changed my perception on living and a little on how I look into hijrah.
But I would have to say that the biggest factor that has affected me to change was my realization that Allah is always there for us. You know when you have those down moments that you feel that everyone is deserting you, that every single soul is abandoning you, maybe you should look back and think of Allah. He created us, why is it so hard for us to be reminded of him? Keep this in mind, Allah is always near, it is us, human who created the distance.
I have a long way to go into becoming a perfect human, let alone be an ideal Muslim, but I believe in one thing, when you have the will to change and to start the journey towards finding Allah, He will provide nothing but the best to ensure you'll succeed in your endeavor. If you are willing to walk to Allah, Allah is more than happy to run towards you, InsyaAllah.
Well, even Umar al Khattab has shown us that the worst of the worst could change into the best of the best, so there's no saying that our sin is too big that Allah wouldn't accept our repentance. Those kind of thoughts are nothing but syirk. After all, Allah is Al-Ghafur (the forgiver and hider of faults) now isn't He?
It is now the first day of Syawal, I never thought Ramadhan would go this fast this year, it is as if I haven't had enough of it. As we bid farewell to our beloved month of Ramadhan, my only wish is that we are given the chance to meet again next year, InsyaAllah. The tears that fall as Ramadhan leaves are caught by the smile that shines as Syawal enters. May Allah accept our Ramadhan and may He blesses our Syawal. Ameen. :')