Almost An Angel.

If you're tired of trying to fall asleep, sleep on it and try again tomorrow. If you're all out of promises, I have one left for you: The Earth is still here as long as you're alive.

If you want to yell out your frustrations, I'll understand, just understand that the whole world is screaming, mostly complaining about the noise. If you're worried about having the logic knocked out of you of you when you're older, don't. Old blood bleeds as good as new.

If you've got nothing left to feel, just open your arms for the winds to hug and say hello to the stranger's smile. If tomorrow isn't a day you look forward to, I'll make you see that if today things doesn't work out for you, tomorrow it will.

Because at the end of the day, I can sacrifice my health, and I can sacrifice my money. I can sacrifice my nights, and I can sacrifice my sanity. I can sacrifice my words, and I can sacrifice a song. I can sacrifice the world, and I can sacrifice nearly everyone in it.

The only thing I won't let them take, is you. And if there's anything else, let me know.

There's Nothing Like Me and You.

SHE'S
BROKEN.

The Wind Almost Took You.

This time, the time machine took me back to the right place. This time, I ran outside and nearly grabbed myself before I walked out that door to kiss you for the first time. I almost tripped at the same garden gnome that bruised me before.

But this time, another me stopped me, before I could stop me, and said, "the only thing worse than missing someone, is wondering what there was to miss." This time, I sat down with me, and we drank and we spoke about how different things could have been. For me. And for me.

Later, I still kissed you for the first time. This time. You are more than a series of experiences. You are the light that surrounds them.

That's what it feels like when you fall from great heights. That's what it feels like when your heart grows back. That's what it feels like when you don't want to feel.

And if you're too busy to stop and actually look at what it's all adding up to, then that's what you should be busy with.

But this, this is just me.

Lullaby for the Heart.

May I look upon things as they are, not as what I want them to be.

May I walk upon these pavements as a journey, not a road needing a map.

May I see tomorrow as how I shape my future, not a past relived times and times again.

May I do what I do, not be distracted by what I can't.

May I climb these steps one at a time, not trip while figuring what's on top.

May I dream of what I hope for, not what I fear.

May I speak the truth, not say what's right.

May I fix the things that needs fixing, not crumble what's perfectly in shape.

May I love you as I love you, not as any other.

Wish Upon a Shooting Cloud.

I used to believe in the saying that it's easy to forgive, but it's hard to forget. Honest, I used to believe that forgiving is easier done. But when you come to think of it, can you really forgive if you can't forget the damage that's been done? It's not that simple. At least not for me.

You know, I think it is rightfully human that we refuse to forgive, simply because it hurts too much to just be torn apart and then for you to get up and just walk around as if nothing has ever happened. It's never that easy.

But then I saw this:
"Muslims all over the world will stand for hours and hours in prayer seeking God's forgiveness and asking of Him that which their hearts desire. But how can one expect forgiveness when we are ourselves are not forgiving? How can one seek forgiveness when we do not seek forgiveness from each other?"
-Imam Khalid Latif-

Upon reading that, I started to forgive. But being the human I am, when things get out of hand, I get out of forgiveness. I started to feel the wrong being repeatedly done. It's again, not easy to just let pass the damage that's been done.

But I have come to one conclusion, if I don't forgive, I'll never forget. If I don't forget, I'll never trust again. Why hurt yourself? I'd always say. Regardless of what you and others may say, I promise to make things right. I will do what it takes to connect what has been torn by you and the others who are not in the known.

So today, I resolve to forgive the person I have come to grow so much hatred inside of me.

The heart is either alive or it's dead. It's either healthy or it's sick.
-Ibn Qayyim-

p/s: Allah, please give me strength in doing this. :/

"Aku Terima Nikahnya..."

"Aku terima nikahnya si dia binti si ayah dia dengan mas kahwinnya RM......"

Now doesn't that sounds easy? But you do realize that a certain people can't even say it at one shot. Often when this happens, we take them as a nervous wreck who can't even utter such simple words. Ever thought that they probably know the true meaning to this simple sentence?

"Aku tanggung dosa-dosa si dia dari ibu bapanya, apa saja dosa yang dia buat, dari dedah aurat hingga ke tinggalnya solat, aku tanggung dan bukan lagi ibu bapanya tanggung, dan aku tanggung semua dosa bakal anak-anak aku. Kalau gagal, maka aku fasik, dayus & aku rela masuk neraka, aku rela malaikat Zabaniyah melibas aku hingga pecah badanku."

This just goes to show that humans are created with responsibilities attached to us. This differs though for male and female, but it doesn't mean that one is better than the other, it just goes to show that each and every single soul in this world were made for a reason, so never think of yourself as meaningless or useless.

p/s: Still think of it as an easy task? Probably not.

Stand Up and Walk.

A lot of times we feel that we've done our best in doing something but somehow the outcome shows the exact opposite. We feel that our efforts are worthless. Nothing we do seems to be enough.

But you know, I've come to realize that maybe our efforts are not rewarded by Allah s.w.t because He knows that's not the right thing for us. Don't ever forget that Allah showed us both the good and the bad so that we know how to evaluate. He has something better for us, but we keep on lingering in the past hoping what we liked would be what's best for us.

Once and for all, I want to trust Allah and His decisions, not because I have to, but because I want to. What's the point of me praying five times a day, restraining myself from eating for 14 hours for one whole month, if I don't trust the One I did that for? Simply worthless.

Not everything you have stays forever, but there are things you would be glad to fight for - just to have them longer. And I believe I have fought hard enough and I have had it long enough.

p/s: the moment we understand that Allah's decision is always in our best interest, everything will start to make sense. :)